dope.

color.me.aquarian
Color Forecast “Its looking like Uggs with scattered showers of plaid”… That is my color forecast for my city, since they don’t have it on there.  BUT if you want to dress like the super-trendys over in Paris, Milan, and Antwerp, all you have to do is go to color forecast.  They have live cameras checkin’ out the streets and targeting the hot colors people are wearing, so you don’t have to be wearing Sunshine Yellow when the forecast is Tangerine.  Personally I don’t give a flying pigeon what the color forecast is, because either A) I’m already up on the trends and don’t need help or B) I’m going to be wearing stretchy pants and any sweatshirt I can find that isn’t dirty.  But I think the idea is so unique - had to share!! http://www.pimkiecolorforecast.com/ http://www.pimkiecolorforecast.com/

Color Forecast

“Its looking like Uggs with scattered showers of plaid”… That is my color forecast for my city, since they don’t have it on there.  BUT if you want to dress like the super-trendys over in Paris, Milan, and Antwerp, all you have to do is go to color forecast.  They have live cameras checkin’ out the streets and targeting the hot colors people are wearing, so you don’t have to be wearing Sunshine Yellow when the forecast is Tangerine.  Personally I don’t give a flying pigeon what the color forecast is, because either A) I’m already up on the trends and don’t need help or B) I’m going to be wearing stretchy pants and any sweatshirt I can find that isn’t dirty.  But I think the idea is so unique - had to share!!

http://www.pimkiecolorforecast.com/

http://www.pimkiecolorforecast.com/

Shop till you broke

So, what do I do when I’m bored? I SHOP.  Which would be awesome if I had one of those money trees.  Put some pennies in the dirt, water it with molten gold, and out comes a tree sprouting green leaves with old man faces on them.  My original “move to Australia fund” has become “live like a princess when you’re unemployed” fund.   These are some of my recent purchases that I highly recommend.  You will appear to: be fashionable, have beautiful skin, and have a sense of humor.  Marriage material ladies.

1.  Sperry Top Siders, Bahama Grey Fleece Sequin:  A classic shoe with a twist.  I don’t feel like I am being suffocated by khakis and polo shirts when I sport these.  They come in bright colors too! Neon has been hitting the runways, so the brights are a great trendy option.  My fashion blogger friend CEEC can attest to that.

2.  Clinique City Block SPF 40:  For those experienced SPF users, a high SPF can change your skin to a strange hue of neon purple.  Clinique has squashed this problem by tinting the moisturizer ever so slightly - it makes a difference. 

3.  Taschen “Big Book of Breasts 3D”:  This a great coffee table book for a select group of youth.  So, in other words, if you’re cool you should buy this.  An artistic, humorous and entertaining collection of boobs.  Comes with 3D glasses, so don’t get caught groping the air, awkwarrrrrd. 

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.

—Kerouac

This article is the tits. It’s not my norm to post an article, but this one is awesome.  And true.  I have had too many friends/acquaintances who blab their freakin heads off about the male gender.  Queue end of friendship.  Because in the end it really doesnt matter if Billy Bob Jo gives you a call back after your shitty date to Chilli’s.  Just love yourself and others will love you too… http://jezebel.com/5904952/for-chrissakes-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you-a-dating-manifesto

This article is the tits.

It’s not my norm to post an article, but this one is awesome.  And true.  I have had too many friends/acquaintances who blab their freakin heads off about the male gender.  Queue end of friendship.  Because in the end it really doesnt matter if Billy Bob Jo gives you a call back after your shitty date to Chilli’s.  Just love yourself and others will love you too…

http://jezebel.com/5904952/for-chrissakes-there-is-nothing-wrong-with-you-a-dating-manifesto

MAD MAD LOVE!

Rest and get healthy?? NO.  I WENT TO COACHELLA!  First of all it was amazeballs.  Second of all it was so hot I almost died.  Third of all I camped.  Omg I camped - I am a princess and I camped.  During the day consisted of moving as little as possible except to crawl from one patch of shade to the next.  Using the bathroom was like finding the least shitty shit box that had been baked by radiation for several days and attempting not to get AIDS.   And I could probably finish a rubrics cube in the time it took to get a shower.  BUT the reason why I went to Coachella was for the music, of course!  Rocked my socks off.  It seems that the producers of Coachella continue to outdo themselves every year.   The gangsta rap medley polishing off the weekend was like the chocolate powder on the top of my cappuccino – delish and made the entire weekend worth my hangovers, sweat and blisters.   If you live underground and have creepy moleskin at this point, with large black eyes capable of seeing in the dark, you haven’t heard about the Tupac hologram yet.  I suggest you check that shiz out by clicking here.  The video doesn’t do it justice.  If I went to weekend 1 and the surprise wasn’t yet spoiled I would have been one of those freaks screaming “TUPAC LIVES!!!!!!!!!”.  It was that legit.  I know I’m a blogger and I’m supposed to have all of these amazing photos, but my priority was not charging my phone/camera, it was survival. Apologies for wanting to live.  And don’t miss Coachella next year!  

I’m BACKKKKKK….. Hello, as I sit here, nursing my caffeine withdrawl migraine.  Traveling Europe for the past 3 weeks has been one of the greatest experiences of my life:  drinking cappuccino at least 3 times a day, not wearing workout clothes or working out once, drinking alcohol for breakfast lunch and dinner (and feeling like I wasn’t being judged), and throwing up in my mouth every time I exchanged money and lost 50% of its worth.  Vices were abundant and the fashion was stunning – Americans are really just healthy slobs.   But ohhhhhh how I miss being healthy and working out, so I wont bash being American, I will just dress better.   Because a diet of bread, cheese and cured meats was like the 405 at rush hour for my bowels.   Cant wait to get back to my routine once this jet lag kicks the bucket.  I totally exchanged going to yoga this morning for writing this post and catching up on Mad Men…zomg Betty Draper is fat!?  Oh ya, and I also went shopping online because I have a new appreciation of how cheap the clothes are in America.  Toodles.

I’m BACKKKKKK…..

Hello, as I sit here, nursing my caffeine withdrawl migraine.  Traveling Europe for the past 3 weeks has been one of the greatest experiences of my life:  drinking cappuccino at least 3 times a day, not wearing workout clothes or working out once, drinking alcohol for breakfast lunch and dinner (and feeling like I wasn’t being judged), and throwing up in my mouth every time I exchanged money and lost 50% of its worth.  Vices were abundant and the fashion was stunning – Americans are really just healthy slobs.   But ohhhhhh how I miss being healthy and working out, so I wont bash being American, I will just dress better.   Because a diet of bread, cheese and cured meats was like the 405 at rush hour for my bowels.   Cant wait to get back to my routine once this jet lag kicks the bucket.  I totally exchanged going to yoga this morning for writing this post and catching up on Mad Men…zomg Betty Draper is fat!?  Oh ya, and I also went shopping online because I have a new appreciation of how cheap the clothes are in America. 

Toodles.

Designer Schlong

I LOVE this idea!!!  I feel like condoms have a bad wrap and this blows new life into them.  Especially being a woman, the connotation of carrying condoms on you really ejaculates “slut” across your forehead.  But I think having designer condoms makes it a bit more light hearted.  I mean, what’s the point of buying designer ANYTHING if no one else is going to see it right??  Now there will be more sex and more safe sex - well that’s what I’m thinking in my idealistic world.   I’m really glad Alexander Wang came out with one too.  Really, the puns are neverending. 

http://properattirecondoms.com/collections/

Ode to My Besties

Happy Birthday to my favorite sistah’s!  I have spent some crucial learning years with these two females like ALL of my “firsts” and there are many.    They know things about me that I don’t even know about me.  It is only appropriate that I post a someecard  and humiliating pictures that were strategically chosen. 

Girl on the left: Carla, 26, Shmexican. Compromising facial expression.  

Girl on the right: Shally, 24, Persian Kitty.  Note the abrasion around her eye area.  Casualty of her 21st birthday - face hitting pavement.  CLASSIC. 

Keaton Henson - Small Hands

When I was a child I had a special affection for animals.  Like when the ant in Honey I Shrunk the Kids got BRUTALLY MURDERED by that scorpion my emotions literally could not contain themselves -  I ran upstairs and cried like the little baby I was.  So when I watched this video it definitely took me back to that dark place.  It is a total illusion by making you think you are watching a cute puppet movie with precious animals and then BAM your curled up in the fetal position having an anxiety attack.  But to be serious, (yes, I know it’s hard), it is a beautiful song paired with an artistic visual containing the brutal realities of nature and life.  

Enjoy and have a happy day!! xoxo

Geometric Porn Ap

Apologies for the hiatus.  Sometimes shit gets weird and throws a bitch off track.

Hopefully I can make up for it with some crude and erotic footage.  But really it’s just colored shapes moving around, so get your mind out of the gutter. 

Smooches  xoxo

Nips. I’m fascinated with boobs.  Exhibit A: http://dirteedan.com/ (my fotoblog sprinkled with boobies).  And of course with boobs comes nipples.  Here they are scientifically categorized for easy identification.  I didn’t even know such nips existed!! Perhaps some are endangered species or are just so rare that they are hardly ever spotted to photograph in their natural habitats.  White Tiger nips?  Tazmanian Devil nips?  Fascinating.   http://jezebel.com/5885739/what-type-of-nipple-are-you

Nips.

I’m fascinated with boobs.  Exhibit A: http://dirteedan.com/ (my fotoblog sprinkled with boobies).  And of course with boobs comes nipples.  Here they are scientifically categorized for easy identification.  I didn’t even know such nips existed!! Perhaps some are endangered species or are just so rare that they are hardly ever spotted to photograph in their natural habitats.  White Tiger nips?  Tazmanian Devil nips?  Fascinating.  

http://jezebel.com/5885739/what-type-of-nipple-are-you

Cartier - L’Odyssée directed by Bruno Aveillan

Cartier’s new commercial, two years in the making, to celebrate the jewelrs 165 years.  It is a CGI explosion fantasy for the eyes, even though I really have no idea what the commercial actually means.  Sort of a metaphor for diamonds - Beautiful to look at, but no one knows the terror and bloodshed behind the diamond empire.  Haven’t ya’ll seen Blood Diamond!? Sheesh.  But let’s be real…  I will probably still buy/own a shit-ton of diamonds in my lifetime.  You think I want a fat CZ on my ring finger??? Sike. Ignorance is bliss. 

The Holstee Manifesto You know those days where you feel like shit and the entire day your thinking, “OK, I know if I just exercise or get dressed or shower or something I will feel better”.  And then you find some excuse to not do any of them - all day.  Well it was one of those days for me yesterday.  Mostly because I was hungover from wine and cigarettes catching up on my trash TV with a friend the night before.  This “shit” feeling translates to me sitting in front of the TV and web surfing for 8 hours.  Are you calling me unproductive!? My mom probably would.  But I found some interesting tidbits while my ass fused to the leather couch.  It was a toss up between a cockroach giving birth and this. 

The Holstee Manifesto

You know those days where you feel like shit and the entire day your thinking, “OK, I know if I just exercise or get dressed or shower or something I will feel better”.  And then you find some excuse to not do any of them - all day.  Well it was one of those days for me yesterday.  Mostly because I was hungover from wine and cigarettes catching up on my trash TV with a friend the night before.  This “shit” feeling translates to me sitting in front of the TV and web surfing for 8 hours.  Are you calling me unproductive!? My mom probably would.  But I found some interesting tidbits while my ass fused to the leather couch.  It was a toss up between a cockroach giving birth and this.